That’s a weird pairing of words, isn’t it? As a retired long-term care/hospice social worker, I have written many chart notes stating that the family of a loved one was experiencing anticipatory grief.

The definition of anticipatory grief is a feeling of grief or loss that can occur before an impending death or other loss. It can be experienced by the person facing death, their loved ones, or the family. Anticipatory grief can be intense and overwhelming.

Can you prepare adequately for something which often hides somewhere deep inside us and surfaces as spontaneously as a child’s Jack In The Box toy?

You start to relax and live your life, knowing your loved one will probably not be with you much longer, but you’re trying to deal with each day, each minute, each second as it comes.

You’re listening to the cheerful music and watching the turning of the handle, but inside, you’re wondering when you will be overwhelmed by the shock?

Then…

BAM! The grief explodes, almost like a sucker punch in the gut. It knocks the wind out of you, and for a moment or two, you can’t breathe.

The same thing happens with bereavement. That is the period of sorrow and mourning that follows the death of a loved one. It’s grief, but a different kind.

But it packs the same punch.

As we approach Thanksgiving, I’m reminded of people in our community and close friends who have lost a loved one in death in the past few weeks. It’s hard enough to process and begin to grieve, but it seems a little more daunting with a holiday so close in proximity.

As Christians, our grief may seem like a curse (and isn’t it, as it began in the Garden?), but it is short-lived. It may last for years in earthly measurements, but in God’s time, it’s only the blink of an eye.

Sometimes, Christians think we shouldn’t grieve. If our loved one is in Heaven with Jesus, what do we have to be sad about? But hear this: Jesus grieved.

Jesus grieved over Jerusalem (Luke 19:41-44). He grieved over the death of His friend, Lazarus (John 11:35).

He grieved in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46).

If our Saviour, in His humanity, showed grief, why shouldn’t we? You can’t love passionately, feel passionately, and live passionately without grieving passionately.

Jesus wept.

Over the next few days, I’m going to share some stories with you of folks I’ve loved and now grieve over. Stories of friends who are traveling a journey through the holidays that seems unmanageable. But stick with me, because while we discuss these things, we’re going to talk about the most important thing of all:

Anticipating Heaven and all its glory, through faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Many years ago, God was silent for over 400 years. The people anticipated His voice. They anticipated the Saviour.

And we can, too.